Sunday, May 2, 2010

Response Paper Cuts

My mom always tells me that I should only do comedies and children’s plays, to guard my heart. But I know if I guard my heart, I’m only depriving myself of understanding. Am I walking away from Shortcuts fully self-aware and ready to change the world? Hell no. Fuuuuck no. But every little piece, every baby step forward, and especially every large leap back with my hands over my eyes … it all means something: that I am LEARNING. (…)I felt upset at times because during rehearsal, I would take direction without a second thought. If I was doing something of my own devising, I would welcome the notes, the tweaking, the thoughts. Because she’s the director. And I respect her. Would the scene be of my own devising, still? Yes. Because I responded to her direction. I reached deeper, or towards something I hadn’t considered. I found connections.

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One other part of the rehearsal process I was displeased by was the lack of freedom in scenes. We got slips of paper and we were told to create a scene as our characters. However, on the slip of paper were guidelines such as adding one entrance, one meeting, four surprises, ten interruptions, four lines, etc. I felt almost no freedom with these exercises. Many things were taken and born out of them, but not in a way that I was happy with. It didn’t serve anything because I worried about what I needed to incorporate into the scene and what I was missing more than what I wanted to portray.

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So, after yesterday's dress rehearsal, I feel differently about the work. It went really well, to my surprise. I think the most important thing I have learned from our work is really more of a question. When do you trust the limitations and the structure that your director gives you? I know a few of us, including myself, we unsure about the conceptualization and strict structure, about the very particular notes, that were mostly backed by whether choices and ideas looked good or bad. But it turns out that all those directions were right and served the show. But is that the point? I think the decisions should suit everyone. I think. I don't know. I can't tell whether the work is good because of the strict director that emerged in the last month of our work, or because of the original connections with the texts and characters that developed from the start. Perhaps it is both. But I guess that question is irrelevant if one completely trusts their instincts as well as their casts and their directors. Trust trust trust.

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One thing I appreciate about this process is the willingness to take risks. We took many risks but I think they could have gone further, for me personally. I have not (yet) reached that point of “ok I’m done playing, discovering, rehearsing with the text; I’m ready to present it to the audience”. I’m still waiting for that moment when I’m done working, but I’m not. I could actually spend one more month with this. Maybe it’s because I’m censoring myself during rehearsal. I feel like sometimes I don’t follow all my impulses and that realization gives me motivation. Of course I know my limits as an actor and a human and I know when I’m pushing myself too far. Before I forget, I LOVE how improv helped us so much in this process. Almost 60% of what we’ve created came out of an improv exploration. Whenever I’ve done improv it’s for comedy shows but who knew it would come in hand when it comes to working with a script?

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Though movement is important within our project, we also find solace in stillness. But this stillness has to be an active stillness, never allowing the focus to whither, continuing to be in the moment even if you are not the center of the action.

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Meanwhile, though, our rehearsals stopped being exploratory. We seemed to spend more time staging things, even though we had had one brilliant rehearsal prior to spring break in which we performed a list of improvised scenes selected as interesting and potent. It was entirely free form, devoid of “staging,” and it was amazing how well we all fit together as a group. I think I resisted direction a lot, misunderstanding why the scenes that were all ours before were now being quashed into a shoebox. Things that other people had created and performed were assigned to other people- this particularly rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t want to learn a series of gestures [other actors] had made up because those were their gestures to use and they understood and connected to them. Nevertheless, (…) I still perform a sort of choreography other people originally made. It has meaning to me now, but at the time of learning it I felt very uncomfortable.

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My cast mates never failed to surprise me in rehearsals. All at the same time, they would be willing to try everything and yet they would stubbornly refuse to try anything. There wasn’t any hesitation to express frustration, confusion, or lack of understanding (three things that I rarely admit). In one of our first outside of class rehearsals, we had to do a scene with a partner that was based on five verbs. I am definitely a planner. I like knowing the beginning and the end. My partner for this scene, is definitely more versed in improvisation and Grotowski, and he seems much more comfortable with the idea of just doing something than I am. We didn’t talk about what we were going to do, and instead, we just started moving. At times, I did not understand what he wanted me to do. I had trouble, and I still have trouble, going with the flow. I like having a plan. Maybe not step by step, but for me, having a goal, having something to work towards is important. I cannot comprehend just doing something and somehow making it mean something. Maybe it does not have to mean anything? For me, at whatever stage I am in, I need that thing to work towards.

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The thing I enjoy most about this project is the fact that it is not concrete. There is no set way things have to be. If we want to change the order of things we can. We still have the freedom to add things. All the work we have done has given us a wealth of material that we could always draw from.

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There was so much emphasis placed on aesthetic it was maddening! From the beginning there was great emphasis placed on the storyline and having to follow it. My understanding of this class was that we drew from what we found when we looked at this piece, when we looked into the mirror of the play and found certain personal reflections and explored that. (…) [To] so many things I did [the director] somehow tried to add dance-like movement. (…) I do not see what would have been wrong with doing four scenes of the same thing if this is what caught our interest.

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As I begin to reflect on the work my group and I have done (…), I can’t help but return to the week where it all began. While I was reviewing our blog page, I noticed something that Liz had posted from our very first meeting. She observed, “It is exciting to see young people who love each other and want to do really great work. Not work that everyone will understand or appreciate, but work for the sake of work.” I find it extremely fascinating that Liz wrote this at the beginning of the process as I feel as though it resonates even more strongly now. When the class began, none of us knew what to expect- we didn’t know where the text would lead us, how the group dynamic would work, or where we would draw our inspirations from. A lot of us were familiar with each other and how we work, which always helps at the beginning of the process, and yet we never could have predicted the work that was to develop in a mere three months. We do theatre because we have to do theatre, because we need to do theatre and somehow we can still find fulfillment even when delving into the unknown.

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A big beef I had was after reading "On the Genesis of Apocalypsis" and trying to recognize where the work needed to go. I passive-aggressively clashed with my director at the next rehearsal because I asked her what end some of the Viewpoints exercises we were doing were trying to reach. It was the first time anyone in our rehearsal process had voiced any sort of objection to anything. And it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. So I kept all my doubts inside for a while and they ate at me. We would keep rooting our work in the text to try and express what had basically already been expressed by the author in a ‘new’ and ‘interesting’ way. When scenework would start to move away from the text and more into the situation at hand, the actors would be stopped or redirected mid-scene to try and express ‘what that character would do’ or what happened next in the story. Which isn’t bad, per se, it just wasn’t what I was interested in. After a while I stopped grinding against the way the work was going, though, and noticed that good stuff was still happening. But I poured myself into this project for months, trying to find something, trying to do the work I had been reading about. Most of the things I found interesting were cut in favor of character relationships and clever staging techniques. A few things were questioned, a few things were confronted, but for the most part I didn’t feel like we were actually accomplishing anything in terms of Grotowski’s theories.

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Personally, I think the problem grew like a tumor from the way in which we sought to enter the work in the first place. The first month of our work was devoted to reading the text, interpreting the text, thinking about the text, practicing the text, molding the text, text, text, text. We were too attached to the text to let our own creations grow. We shunted off exploration in favor of a map drawn by the text to which we were assigned. It began to feel forced. To put it simply, I felt as though we were recreating the text instead of responding to it. (…) I also think, even up to now, we are working towards a production as opposed to exploring an evolving process. We are finely tuning and shaping these scenes, which is a vital step, but the impetus to do so comes not from a will to drive deeper into the work but from a fear that our work is not ready to be seen. Personally, I will continue to improvise and explore, even during the show dates, and treat the five nights as rehearsals that we happened to let the public into as opposed to a polished, stagnant show.

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I have discovered that talking too much doesn't help. There were times where we would just sit and talk, and it would lead to nothing. We would try to plan out a scene by sitting and discussing it. What worked for us was getting on our feet, improvising. Just trying things and then talking about them. I also think it is important to protect this work from becoming just another Mainstage FSU production. The focus of this class I feel needs to remain on the collaboration between the director and the performers. I really appreciate the contributions of our design and management team for this show, they were great about coming in and supporting our work and really becoming a part of our process and collaboration. But I also see the danger in further involvement of designers and management students in the future.

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We began to work outside and to our benefit our individual performances became free and imprisoned at the same time. For some this transition was difficult and for others, nothing but good came of it. More and more scenes started to develop, and they developed organically, without preconception. These later scenes that we have created prove to be our most captivating and rich work, because it comes from a place of repression and frustration rooted directly from the process itself. The work is continually growing into something more unexpected and interesting than any of us could have expected. The work is nowhere near completion, but I am comfortable saying that we have unique and beautiful moments throughout the body of performance that we have created together.

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Each person individually was given a chance to show work, even if it was not put in the final project. No one was ever discouraged from bringing in a piece, a monologue, or research. We, as the group, found a way to use it, and more often than not, we did. One day, the director gave us twenty minutes to write a song. No rules, no concepts, just write it. It was absolutely terrifying, but it served as a new outlet for creativity that was not a monologue or a scene. We were able to build a vocabulary of gestures and movement which we do use in the final project. Our cast developed such a strong bond that no gesture, piece, or idea was too weird or too unusual to use. We did, and still do, appreciate every idea that came out of our rehearsals. We also have a group emotion most of the time. If one person is feeling overwhelmed or upset, then we all are. We use it in our work.

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To me, this was what the process was about, improvising scenes finding personal connections and then showing them to the director. This is the first time we actually created scenes. Once the director saw them she started to direct us and had us try new and different things in a collaborative manner, but suddenly in one rehearsal she came in and put text on top of the scene, telling us to say this line here and that line there, things we didn’t come up with and personally were not connected.

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In Apocalypse Grotowski says “in everyone the secrets of creation are different.” (…) You have to come together with other artists that all share the same level of respect and creative hunger. You must all have the same ethic, and compatible views on how to work. You must also be willing to be vulnerable with one another. You have to trust and feel safe. You have to all not be afraid of disagreements and throwing things away. You have to allow for explorations in areas that you may not want to venture, but you go blindly, because you believe in one another. It is a rare and precious balance when a process “frees the fullness in the artist, the creative fullness in the director.” Our work does not possess that balance, but I don’t think that is something to be ashamed of. I think it is very difficult to be a part of that. And when you go about starting a project such as this, you cannot do it through casting and auditions the same as you would do for commercial theatre. It just doesn’t make sense. The finding of your collaborators should follow Grotowski’s explanation: What do we look for in the actor? Without a doubt—himself. If we don’t look for him, we cannot help him. If he doesn’t interest us, if he isn’t someone essential to us, we cannot help him. You have to be working with people who, when you see them and their ideas and desires, you are inspired by them and want to aid in helping them succeed. And when you look at the text that you are delving into, you must only see what elements inspire you, and agree to follow them to whatever place they take you, however palatable or unsightly or confusing.

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At a certain point we got past Shakespeare. Joel gave us an assignment to bring in some text, either in a monologue or scene, that we felt expressed what Shakespeare couldn’t. This work was amazing. I remember the day when we presented all of our selections for each other in 106, and I was just dumbfounded. This was probably the most rewarding part of the whole project. The actors were completely free from any direction and any limits really to explore the story in Titus. The texts ranged from other Shakespeare, to poetry, modern work, cinema, and those written by the actors themselves. Not only were we finally exploring the aspects of the story that we found to be the most intriguing and richest, but with fantastic results.

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I imagine the director was pretty frustrated with me at points. I was very stubborn through the whole process. I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t doing anything that didn’t feel right, only because I knew that anybody watching would clearly detect that I was less genuine, and I wanted to try to avoid that at all costs. Maybe self-conscious to worry about the audience, maybe a little selfish to worry about my own hide.

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Over the course of the weeks and months that went by, the director seemed to have been rejuvenated in this process. As his actors, we could actually see the chains of the script falling off him and the excitement that he started bringing to rehearsals, which motivated all of us. Suddenly, there was no script.

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It was later pointed out to me that this movement did not have to be necessarily “pretty” nor structured. Instead, the intentions behind the movement were far more important than producing a “pretty” show. I feel as though this was the point where everything was unlocked for me. I felt freed and alive, which was what I had been searching for the whole time, and I finally accepted it. Who knew that I would find it by accident? It was then easy to transfer this new feeling into the rest of the work we had created.

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Many of the problems I believe in this process have been the aspect of time. Everybody involved on this project has always been dedicated to creating something together. However, time has always been against us. It took time to learn how to work together. To find out what everybody wanted, and especially what the director wanted. Learning how to work together was the majority of the battle.

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From that moment on we also began to not only draw huge chunks of our show from other sources, but more importantly from ourselves. Several of the other actors who were apart of this process proved to be incredibly talented and creative individuals who brought to the table some amazing work. As we worked with all of these different sources the show really began to fall into place, but continued to shift and change completely with each rehearsal. That had to be one of the more exciting things about this process, just to walk into rehearsal and have no idea what would happen and what would change.

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For a period we got really focused on form. The second we had something, the ensemble sort of was trapped into clinging onto it until there was literally nothing left of it. It was, as Grotowski says, ‘dead’. This was the worst LITERALLY. I was so grumpy. And I hate that I was. It wasn’t professional or admirable but I just got trapped in this place of frustration. I don’t want to run choreography. I don’t want to practice something that looks ‘cool’ for the sake of its cool-looking-ness.

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One of the lessons I learned from our first run-through assignment is that when you take away safety nets such as text and a set, finding a common rhythm with the other actors is crucial. In that first run through alone I found key ideas and themes that have stuck with me throughout this entire process.

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Something I think that we have succeeded in is the discovery of self. (…)“Show me your man, and I will show you my God.” This quote from Grotowski is something that has really stuck with me, and I believe that during this process, we have had moments of “showing our man.” Which is amazing. The tragedy of it is, I don’t know if the moments were recognized as beauty when they happened. They should have been. Which makes me wonder if anyone was paying attention.

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I feel that I could have contributed more to the process. Was it my insecurity? Was it my fear to just explore as much as I could? Was it that I didn’t just stand up and express myself? I don’t know. But I do feel that there is some of me in the pieces. I know I especially started to pitch in on ideas towards the end. I know that my individual exploring in the scenes and what feels right contributes to the piece as a whole. My little work contributes to the big work. But I feel like my voice was not expressed fully, mostly because I didn’t share it as much as I should have. But this is always the case with me. Fear holds me back. Fear of what? I do not know. I wish I could have explored more of what I could do and offer myself more of a challenge than I did.

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The fact is, this isn’t so much about Titus anymore as it is about the adventure that got us to this point. What comes out in every rehearsal is the exhaustion and the joy and the pain and a physical expression of the chaos and love and anger and resentment. What it is now is not the thing it began as; what I am now is not what I was in January.

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What am I as a person?

I find it hard to continue my previous interactions and relationships in the same way after I return to or even attempt to return to this place. I have found it is only possible when I really sit alone and focus....really force myself to remember and allow myself to know that this part, this place, this stranger is the only thing that I know with all of my being to be real. It is isolating, it is lonely, but it is a new religion. We are all alone.

This idea was absolutely crippling to me at first. Everything I “know” it seems I do not...or at least in as strong a way as this. I only know that I am alone, and that inside of me and every other human being exists commonalities which are a far cry from the ones I had expected, hoped, and “knew” before. Each of us is nothing if not a capacity to be and find anything...any level of darkness, lightness, emotion, loss, forgotten-ness, fullness, love, religiousness...anything which has existed in the human existence, even if I have not accessed or experienced these personally...its potential is inside of every person. No person can ever really know another. We are alone. We are isolated. We are compilations of previous experiences and ideas of composure.

I am alone.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

SHORTCUTS FINAL MEETING

Food. Drink. Be merry. Everyone is so celebratory. The TITUS. cast is plotting something. Video drama, so that means I will have to move at some point. There will be others in the room – I am skeptical and excited about this. I feel like most of them will be careful of these probably very fragile children (although they do not look fragile, they are fragile – they are not children, but I always feel like they are – not in a condescending way, but in the way that children are brave – I am rambling). I am excited because I am excited to hear their responses. This is interesting for me dramaturgically, I suppose – I am interested in hearing if people will intellectualize. Katerina probably had it exactly right – she just had a lot of feelings. That is what I want. I don’t know if I can say what the stories are – the messages, themes, etc. But I know how I felt in the moments of connection – my connection, or theirs – or, perhaps I don’t know how I felt, but I do know that I felt. And that, for me, is enough these days. I am all about the feelings everywhere except my students’ papers. And it is lovely to have had this amazing experience. And that will be enough for me right now, as we are going to begin and I will be doing a lot of typing.

Okay. Welcome to your last class of Shortcuts [Weeping, booing noises.] Propose a structure – thanks to guests for coming [applause in the world]. They are here to witness not necessarily to be forced to speak. Our goal today is to have a very good crit session, that’s basically the moment of learning – what did you learn? What did you learn not to do? What is the next step? What is your process like?

First – hot pizza. Send you off to the rest of the evening – we have a pot luck. So, take some food and bring it to your little tables and we can munch and talk. But, before you do, I would like to do a little magical trick. [Passing out selections from responses. I have the chills just thinking about this! Hopefully I can collect them all so I don’t have to try to type everything word-for-word and can just listen. I got a response from TITUS. and I am already crying a little.]

Responses – they are everything about the process up until then. And some comments from after the showings began. Mostly though these are fragments from these responses. Somebody’s response – hopefully not yours. And it comes from one person. I selected the fragment. Not the only good thing you said in your paper. Pedagogical reasons. I wanted to use these as a starting point. Let’s start with these so things are said in the room so you know what I’ve been going through reading your responses. Right after your return from the table of goodness.

What a lovely idea this is. Sharing art, sharing food, sharing the little things that tell us we’re alive. And the big things, of course, art is a big thing, of course, but…somehow, this makes the art both big and small, both huge and intensely personal. I am not sure why the ART juxtaposed with the traditional act of breaking bread strikes me so deeply right now. Probably because I have a lot of feelings on a little sleep. I am so very glad that I got to see all three shows last night, got to see where they arrived from where they began (if not how they progressed).

This meeting is going to be over so quickly. I will type and type and type and all of a sudden it will be 6 PM. And now I am supposed to share my thoughts as an outside observer – but I do not feel like an outside observer, in any way! How am I to do this? I suppose I will just make it up as I go along, as I usually do. I think the reason – one of the reasons – I had such a relationship with TITUS. is the care that they took with Lavinia. Oh, now I am really having a feeling and will probably cry in front of this class. Ah, well. They won’t be my first public tears in graduate school. If these performers can bare themselves every night in front of perfect strangers, certainly I can bare myself in front of these actors who are no longer strangers to me.

So, we will read our responses. I will try not to have too many feelings. Then we will – Smyra and I, I suppose – share our outside observer feelings. I think I shall try to emphasize that their process works.

Not party music. The purpose is going to become obvious. Vladimir Wisotzki – famous Russian actor, poet, singer – actor of huge caliber – theatre not film. Courageous theatre company in Moscow (Taganka Theatre) – Yuri Lyubimov – one of the most celebrated and important directors in the world. From 1980s Russia – when art was the only way to express what it was like living under the regime – not just a political statement because you can’t make them because you get arrested. The screaming, the expression coming out from the singing is wrapped in a story about hunting, a hunt going on for young wolves. The hunters are approaching and the young wolves are being shot. And, of course, it’s a metaphor for many things in Russia at the time – a way to express his situation, being trapped and surrounded by those who have guns and the whole system. He became very known as a poet and a singer, his recordings were privately made and distributed, he was like Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash in America. Very important actor and singer. And what he does is he screams – he screams his expression. But the scream is contained in a very simple melody and wrapped in a very simple story about ordinary things. Because he cannot talk straight about any issues that would be seen as a political statement.

I’m going to talk very quickly about the scream itself. The scream that is in you, the scream that is guiding you – the scream is your way into the work. That’s your way of expressing yourself – but it’s the way in. The scream is the form of the song. You have heard of Baryshnikov, the great dancer, he’s in NY and is connected to FSU through the Ringling festival. You don’t hear much about him but he is still a working artist. He made a film titled White Nights – you haven’t seen because you were not alive. Features young Baryshnikov – lives in America, goes to Russia, and is trapped in Russia but has a chance to meet his friends and colleagues and teachers. There’s a scene where he dances to Wisotzki’s music (figure this out). See how dancers scream and how it can become a movement form.

Talking about form and spontaneity. That scream we all have. You are so courageous, but the question is what happens next – the destination of the form. Enabling yourself – putting yourselves in that position where that person in you wants to scream and come out and speak freely, and that’s what has happened in many cases. The performances were huge personal achievements, very much in the spirit of what we were reading about from Grotowski. And the next stage is that it leads you to the form that is so highly defined that it actually helps you scream. Do you need to roll down on the floor and scream? Yes. Without that, there is no second step. But I also was thinking that – our destination would be – what if we were to work more? We would be finding the solution and location of the scream in that form. A way for me to frame some of the conversation. This is the moment where we will be able to speak about your process and what worked for you – the inspiration and what worked what for you and how you feel about your process and what you will do in the future. I choose a random person at first, the flow can be – oh, my note also corresponds to that person’s voice – part of the same discussion.

I am having a hundred thousand feelings. I can tell almost immediately which show each one of these is from. I’m not sure how that is relevant for the world. I think this is about to be really hard for some of the people in this room.

Oh, and Kris brings up the food. This is the provocation you prepared for the class. Now, after the performances, you probably feel that this was an amazing time and that it was just a pleasure to do. But know there are no happy processes – everything is going to hurt. Don’t just run happy and say “we just had a great time and did a great job.” It was hard and it was very hard. The directors were having an enormous task to do – it was particularly hard for them. One director in the room and ten of you who are going to multiply that resistance. It is really hard to work in the division between performers and directors. Trying to achieve a situation where you all worked together. But now, it may be a time to ask ourselves what not to do? Now we have heard from the performers and I have not requested papers from the directors – but we have had many conversations where I saw how much struggle and resistance was felt for the directors in their process. I asked them to do the impossible – I asked them to throw away the idea of concept. I asked them to do something they’re not trained to do. The idea is that concept would arrive slowly from working. The aim was to create a lot of growth and I’m absolutely proud of what you did. The work that you showed – you know what you would have done differently. But they have achieved the place in which these performances pushed the way we thought about theatre and challenged the way they thought about theatre, and hopefully went through this process without many wounds.

This is a way to remind the performers that you don’t always see the objective. The objective is the work. You and the directors are the components, the tools – the work is the object in the center, and that is what you create. The conflict in the responses is what I really wanted to address. Every mainstage show has this gossip – and I want to question that attitude. The idea is that we all work on the work of art. We should stop seeing ourselves as concept-driven laborers.

That is just a little cold water on your heads – but I hope the conversation is going to be productive and we can ask good questions about what actually did work very well for us, but first I want to start with the directors. Order of performances? Who wants to speak? I want to hear their story, their response – they are 100% supported by me, and this is so we stay honest about our work. Please do not defend yourselves – you are absolutely wonderful and should be happy. What was a struggle for you, what have you learned, etc.?

CANDACE:
I guess this process was difficult for me because it came along with my thesis, and so the beginnings of this were like Hamlet/Bacchae/Hammmmmmmlet/Bacchae! So, I think that the battle I found with this was how to make form out of the work that we were creating in rehearsal, as well as make it the work that came out of you guys, that was personal – how to make it personal for myself – something that I connected to, something that’s important. You have to connect and I have to connect. The way I interpret is always different from the way you interpret. After scenes, I would ask how I could connect, and how can I help them to further connect. Sometimes it was really easy, and sometimes I didn’t know what to say. And in terms of the beginning, I --

KS – you felt pressure, you are the one in charge, you have to know the answer right now, please tell me! Position of a situation of creation – the director has the right not to know, and so does the director – and the director also has that ability. Sometimes it’s watching. Directors who say very little and sometimes are just watching. The work that they do is protecting them from having to deal with questions. There is a model like that

CANDACE: I didn’t really know what I wanted to do – I kind of wanted to figure out, and that was scary, but I also wanted to plan. How much planning do I do, how much not planning do I do? One planned rehearsal would be unsuccessful, unplanned great – and vice versa. And the production values became a problem – battling rehearsal space. Frustrating for me because I felt like we were getting screwed, but in the end reflecting on that I think it made us a lot stronger – the fact that we kept getting kicked out of places. It was kind of a magical accident in some ways. It was for good and bad. What did I learn (in terms of what not to do, or what to do)? I learned to not worry so much. I learned to trust that I didn’t always have to have the answer and that would be okay. I learned that if I give a bad note, maybe it wasn’t, or maybe it was. I learned to let go of form and then try to find something beyond it. I learned that my dance background and my directing background sometimes meet and sometimes are two very different things. What would I do differently – not direct Hamlet at the same time as doing this. I think that – I don’t actually have that many regrets, any mistake I made or didn’t or whatever, I learned from that. I would do it again. Same scenario? Would we do the same rehearsals? I wouldn’t do the same things. We already had an ensemble and I would start a lot more with just straight-up improve versus exploration of the text. We should have read the text out loud once and then just improvised what we remembered instead of all the intellectual conversations – which were rewarding intellectually and informed the work – but I would have gotten us on our feet sooner. I would make sure that conversation was minimal and doing was more.

KS: To keep going with you, you’re having a flow of thoughts – can you tell us – so we finished – let’s say we had a semester – what would be your next step? How do you envision it in the future?

COC: someone who just sits back and watches – I think I need to sit back and watch. It’s difficult to reproduce things, so my next steps would be to watch the show and then see if I can extract new meaning from it and then add that additional meaning. What remains, what are the bones that, after seeing it so many times, speak to me. I think there’s a lot of interesting work that could always go deeper – but I guess I don’t know how I could make it go deeper except by observing it and removing myself from it – trying to remove the accumulation of what things mean to us and just to watch it objectively. And whatever I objectively get – see what that is.

KS: At one point, you have a showing, which gives the director a chance to step back and say this is where I am – I opened it, I made an event – a photo, when painters step back from the canvas, I think it would be interesting – stolen from Smyra – maybe Shortcuts should have a mid-semester showing within the class, performances for each group – so it gives the director a chance to step back to see where we are.

COC: I had that opportunity at the beginning – things developed deeper and further, I would have to see where they go past that. I really think that this type of process – every performance makes an adjustment – I think I want to make that part of my process. Not making massive changes, but still being involved with the actors and keeping it fresh for them. For me, that’s what I’m going to hold onto the most. Even if I’m directing Bye Bye Birdie, I think for me as a director – this process is much more my kind of thing. Instead of seeing if a concoction floats on top of the rehearsal process. Ensemble is really important to me, everyone’s creativity important to me – managing it is a struggle, but it’s what I will carry on to devised work or straight-up theatre. I think it’s rewarding for everyone. Not just personally responsible for making it fresh for yourself – but being able to help with that.

THE BACCHAE PEOPLE: What did you learn and what would your next challenge be? I think we’ve talked about this – how to grow and how to find new things and how it lies in exploring relationships more than it does than tonight I’ll do it in a Scottish accent. That’s one of the big things I’ll take away, the most concrete. I realized this week that trying to do exactly what you’ve already done is a terrible idea. It’s a terrible idea. Every other night – good night/awkward night, so let’s just have fun and find new ways to be connected and going about doing this. Awkward oops nights were – I did this and it helped me stay connected. But every day I was in a different place – so the ways that I connected the night before were not going to work every night. To bring us back to the question – you did not have a form which contained your organic expression – the form you could change every night. One magic night and then everyone felt so off – searching for yesterday’s feeling – everyone was last night, not tonight. That is the way to ride on the emotion from yesterday, not doing what you do today – but your performances were not scored yet – Anne’s show was the closest to scored, Joel’s not so scored, and Candy’s in the middle – you’re moving towards something highly scored. Baryshnikov can do it every time – that’s the destination. You can do something again the same way and it’s going to be alive. The key is to find the form that helps you express it and the process that helps you reoriginate the form. I couldn’t redo anything. And I realized yesterday that the most I could do was know that I had points. The reason that these things came about is because we were connected tot hem – these were the things that drew us in. And so it’s not about finding a way to stay connected – we already are connected. If we weren’t, it wouldn’t be part of the show. It wouldn’t be something we would hold onto. In work like this, trying to stay connected – finding a way to be connected was pointless because we were already there – just finding ways to explore it, but that was unnecessary. I think the idea of resistance – I felt like I was very resistant and gave Candace a hard time. I guess I was scared – can I trust this person with my work? Thinking about it now – maybe it’s a good thing – we’re both defending something that we see and in that something is born. Instead of fighting, you mesh hands. I think that’s something I need to remember and I should have brought a lot more. I think I should have lived in the play more, it should have been something with me and it wasn’t – I’m selling myself and the rest of the cast and Candace short. I’ve seen that I need to be more active and accepting. Everything that happened was good, because I learned from the mistakes I’ve made. It also made me question the idea of change and exploration – you’re a different person every day, so where does the work go if you’re constantly changing – they’re not finished. Where does it end, where does it not end? Do you know that there is a technique of painting – the perfect painting is done after a study – after things are thrown away. You have moments where you throw things away, or rehearsals that destroy your previous work – the question is a question of high importance – to understand that we are in a worse situation than the painter because he has the painting, and we don’t. Next time, we have nothing to show. Zac – but we’ve got our brushes. But you allow yourself – in a commercial setting, you may have little chance for discovery. The idea that scenes have nothing – it’s hard to pull off in that setting. Come into the show prepared. You’ve workshopped your production, etc.

FRED: The culture I come from – I’m more immersed in more conventional theatre. If I were coming in to note one of these performances, I would give the same notes. Because I think what we’re both after is a sense of the truth. What you were just saying about bringing where you are – you do that no matter what play you’re doing. Should always be nuance. Nothing is more boring than those mechanical performances. Not good theater. Reason I’m so happy for them to do this – this will stretch their conventional work. I saw a piece of Lyubiimov’s theatre in London – all these designers’ sketches – director sits back for months and the designer started to evolve – in this country, well, we have to start with sets and costumes built before rehearsals even begin. Revolt against, I am all for that. How can we make that better? With the same sense of truth and commitment that we bring to this theatre? I hope there’s a great revival of this – like the 70s and experimental work – and then Reagan killed it. Truth is the truth is the truth is the truth, no matter what the form the theatre takes. Putting the work before anything. The work is always bigger than any of us involved. We need the ideals – we’re never gonna get it like that, but we need those ideals to keep working toward. God, directors don’t know the answers, but with a cast you trust you can say “I don’t know.’ Rehearsal is our exploration period, too. My best moments always come from the actors, we want to try to keep a rehearsal that is free and open. I loved the work you all did, all of the pieces were so interesting – but what really meant so much to me was looking at each little face or big face, I felt a sense of involvement that was so refreshing and wonderful. And Fred departs to applause.

THE BACCHAE: I learned this in the last three showings – really finding the balance of communication and compromise – I felt like I resisted a lot, and I think maybe it was because that standard theatre definition of a director made me, in my mind, there were no actions of Candace’s to put this in my brain – it was just my own, this is the director and made me feel like I had to clamp down. If the director said something, I had to do it. When something came up when she was trying to add/explore something, but it was against what I had thought or put out there, I felt very clamped down and didn’t want to do it. And then I don’t know how, but I realized – okay, I’m taking this in, and saying ‘this worked for me, but the other things do.’ When I started to say something when I was getting whipped – and she said say thank you – and then I said – it didn’t work all the way – and finding the places where the explorations of the director and the actor overlap. I don’t know why I had that in my mind – maybe the authority figure of the director, just in my mind like that. It took me until four days ago to be able to shed that, and that’s something I really learned – it’s a compromise and a compilation – it’s not actors in general, it’s just that there’s a group. A discovery promoted by the reading. Changes the model of the director. Meet the actor, be curious about the actor – find the place where you meet. By not doing much and allowing for actors to do a lot, you come in and you help – and that actor or group of actors becomes your material you didn’t know before you came to the work. And that material slowly can be used to build a performance. That material is the actor. That is the model that the class wants to promote. Not the model of directing and everything else is of lesser value – this is the type I’m introducing you to. It’s a class – it’s a proposition, you take what you want and define your own thing. I think Kyle’s work is that person who sits and lets people work and no one takes the authority away. You are the observer and the people do the things – you don’t feel like you’re not the director. I feel like I haven’t done any directing in trying to shape or stage. I’ve just tried to help when they’ve had questions or when I’ve recognized things, and I’ve pushed them further. Never to make a story make sense. We worked in pieces for a long time. We recently put the pieces together – we still don’t know what we’re dealing with. This is an example of the model. I want all kinds of models of work. We would like to have all forms of work and different understandings of how to work. Bob Wilson – he would give you the movement and you would find it alive. Exactly opposite of what we’re talking about with Kyle. Thanks Danielle for destabilizing the director. New things that I found in the process pertain to focus - a delicacy within which the work is treated. Work starts when you get the text – you’re in a dark room – the more time you take with it, the more you start to see things in the room. If the mind’s eye won’t dilate you blind yourself to the process. You won’t get anywhere because you’ll bump into things. You have to focus in more. You find your chapter titles, then paragraphs, and then you find the sentences in order, and then you find the words put together. It’s a constant evolution of refining and getting a little more specific – a very important editing process as far as subtlety goes. I had a lot of fun being on the outskirts. Some of the most honest moments were subtle – you really had to pay attention. A subtlety has to go along with it. You have to have the broad strokes and the fine points as well. Smallest things are most important – I had a lot of stuff that was just for me, but I let that do a lot of the stuff for me. Finding your own process, complicating your case.

RESPONSES TO BACCHAE:
Perry – one of the lessons that I took away was focus, and how important it was – because in improvs we would just beat each other up and we were totally into it. And Anne said – we can’t focus on you guys beating each other up – no one is focusing. Liz said we were desperate – and that was because we were focusing. And then I noticed it in the showings. General applause. The hyper-awareness of what the other actors were doing, supporting them by looking at them and sending them your energy – so necessary to do anything at all. Yea. Worked better feeding off each other as a whole. It’s really easy with this work to devolve into this selfish creature who coughs? Oh, she is choking. I feel like everyone says – I wanna feel this, it’s all about how I feel – and eventually it got to the point where it was like – you just masturbated – it wasn’t doing anything other than making me feel great. Indulgence – you have to roll on the ground and scream as first response. Giving yourself extra time – moments where you can find something. There’s a phase in which you can be indulgent – that’s part of the growing – but at one point, that’s why the director is there, to guide you away from yourself. In Polish, there is a way of describing it – it’s when the actor is so great and wonderful and fantastic that they say he has an inverted erection. In the rehearsal process, that is how some things get found. There are moments where you aren’t doing it to be selfish, but other moments where you were. But better to make love to other people than yourself. That resonates a lot. It’s weird to connect to that – I was staring at myself in the mirror, masturbating – that’s my process – easy to fall into it. I’m literally into it right now. It is true. We are willing to have a conversation about things are connecting all the shows. And we are no longer talking about BACCHAE. So let’s move to the next show.

JOEL: As I’ve advertised everywhere possible, this process terrified me from day one. And I’m really glad I said that the first day and not halfway through, because it felt like there was a really good sense of where are we going. The things I’ve learned – at the beginning, I was really confused about how we were going to have any sort of set anything, all of the improv and gestures and the aborted baby. The thing that I found the most terrifying and frustrating was to see amazing things happen and think they would never happen again. And that started to go away as the interactions would get better and worse and always move. Amazing moment two people had weeks before, and we don’t need it anymore. The big thing was changing from our work into any kind of set thing. The oldest piece that we have that wound up in the show is Ashley and Zac’s scene – and everything else came afterwards in the Williams courtyard. I was just really pleased with the experience – what a boring thing to say. Moving into performance was another odd thing because I think that it was balancing the inherent obligation to an audience versus the obligation to the work and ourselves. Reconciling the concept as product as part of process – not finished product, but we do need to hear what people say, and that becomes the communication from the audience, how does that move you to the next day. What did you learn, and where would you take it next semester? What I learned is to let things go all the time – we could have a 2-hour Titus graveyard. Cutting things that went away and I kept trying to bring them back – the fly, Nicole’s song, the work didn’t fit. And the next thing finding what works together. And I really took away that my job is to take what you bring in and put it in an order because that is crucial. Each emotional piece has an impact, but playing around with order and juxtaposition is really important. It’s your work but I have to set up the spread, and that’s something that I’m committed to. What I would do next is – we lost, we were not interested in our pairings for a while – I would want to explore those pairings and a duality of character, and then exploring more of the duality in order to break it apart. That’s the next thing I would be interested in doing.

Lighting and costume and makeup – first time for everything really, totally different this year – wanted to focus on the work of the actors. How do you feel about these production values? I felt that the costumes helped and I wish we had them earlier – we missed the stripping down throughout the piece and more clothing removal. They came when I didn’t want to spend a day on costumes. I loved the makeup, even though KS didn’t – I saw them seeing each other in a different and exciting way. And the lights – we never stopped for lighting, he just put some lights up. I would love to see the show without all of those things – it would probably not lose any of its value to me. CW – when I saw Titus, I wished we had no makeup and no costumes, when you see them, you expect to see a show, and it’s because it’s packaged like a show. But it’s not a show – but it is a show. I could see that everything was theirs, but I was so concentrated on the lights and stuff. The makeup made me see each other differently. Dress rehearsal was the first time I felt anything – I hate that it took makeup and costumes. I’m very confused about makeup and costumes, but I don’t want to have to have help to make me believe. I don’t know. I would have liked to see without and then with. It’s really important to have a show alone and without stuff, but I didn’t realize how keyed in I was to my costumes until I put them on, and they were full of a sense of power and authority. I was climbing walls. Then I put on the dress and it was really sensual and fit me really well. I don’t want to say that I depended on them – and maybe there’s something different between pieces? I feel like there were specific elements that furthered the work we were already working with. The dress was another character. Being in the underwear was empowering. It furthered the power. The act of putting on makeup became a character thing. And there were times when I would put makeup on before rehearsal just so I had done that. There are specific pieces in all of that. And maybe then throw everything away that doesn’t further everything. Work with what we really respond to – it’s a question. I loved the lighting and costumes in Anne’s show – and in Candace’s – and we always have to ask ourselves, how dramatically we think about them. The question for each show should be asked and answered differently. Keith – I had a similar reaction. There was so much weight on us with all of these layers, it made us move differently, and the act of putting on makeup helped me get where I needed to go. I decided not to wear the lipstick, it didn’t work for me. I chose to keep the things that meant important. The act of removing things helped me with making differences and helped everything we did and clarified it a bit more. KS: One comment on an actors’ preparation – it is a ritual to sit in the dressing room when you are transforming, you can do it without makeup, if you just don’t speak to people – preparation and a pilot’s checklist and you know how to fly your plane. It’s part of the process. If you don’t do it, nothing works on the stage. Jen: I think it’s dangerous ground to have an opinion on. I need to rely on my body without light – all of these things can elevate or take away. For me, Titus needed those elements of costumes. I would love to strip it down. When Ross walks through those doors in that trench coat. I was so much more sexual in my costume than in rehearsals that I wouldn’t necessarily have gone to. I think we need to break ourselves of the convention. The lighting probably did a lot of things but I didn’t notice – except when exploring. Zac – we couldn’t see without those lights. We’ve rehearsed without the lights. The costumes – we didn’t need them, but the contrast between grays with the red and we really liked it all and we weren’t allowed to have liquid blood – there’s no faking, there’s no repenting, he’s not plotting, he’s just going. Blood is a constant part of it. Contrast – only site of passion.

KS: With the blood – I’m glad you had this limitation – created another solution. You can dance a scream. Everything can be an artistic situation if you limit it. What’s out there – what else can you do? How else can it be represented and not done. Liz and Smyra have things to share – at any point. Nick: part of the thing was particular to our process, improv and trying new stuff – having costumes and new makeup – didn’t mean as much, but costumes and blood was exploring more of the world. Not something you rely on, but different things you can play with, just having more ammunition. Symbolic representation of our inside but physical. Like a different monologue, etc. Bringing in different things for our understanding. It may not be intrinsically or have absolute value, something to explore.

If I messed up my hair that was all I needed – but it was really interesting to see how the costumes affected other people in the cast, not that they needed the costumes, but it totally added something. Brandon’s monologue with the spotlight – it made it look so much cooler, something magical to that moment. Perry – curious as to how costume process worked for other casts, for ours it went really well, here’s a pile of clothes – pick out your own, and we were delighted. I didn’t feel connected to my costume until I wrapped the thing around my hand. I frigging hated the costume selection because I got petticoats and pink shit, and then I put it on and started to play and had this collar-y thing, and I’m not going to say anything, and then I had all these things – an unconscious rebellion against the costume that I needed, the wedding night. Jen – we say it’s better for us to be in our street clothing, but our street clothing is a costume of ourselves. If that’s philosophy, we need to have a set of rehearsal clothes – we’re always in a costume. Smyra: I watched the process from beginning to end and I know how getting into costume can help you and the weight of the costume – at the core of this work, outside of everything else, independent of all of this is that it’s actor-driven work – but if you want the strips, use them in rehearsal, find a way to do it then without them – can you achieve them without? How does the corset affect your body and how can you do it without the corset? You say you need them – maybe they can help you figure out where you are and what it does. You as actors are capable of achieving that effect without them. We see amazing things with nothing. That is at the heart of what we’re doing – discovering what the actors can do. You don’t need them. Don’t sell yourselves short. KS: after evaluating where you are, you can step back and say what can be taken out – this scene can go, and then you can really go back to the core, because naturally what we do, when we can, we add layers and layers that are going to produce a great veil that starts building between the core of the work, the interest, the underlying question – and you. Dressing it up instead of stripping it down. I think that can be taken as a mental exercise – what would you get rid of, what would you strip away – the moment when the audience gets in, you can get rid of all the music, etc. Dayne: I feel like the costumes help us, but it’s more the connection with the other actors. We were all able to find a connection with the other actors. I loved our lane work, I don’t think any of us were expecting what came out of us. It brought half of us to tears because it was such power stuff. I was able to find all of these connections throughout our lane work that really helped me more than the costumes. They help a little to get the character, but they help the audience. It feeds you but you’re not necessarily conscious of that. KS question about rehearsal process – your process was maybe more rewarding than the actual process. And people were watching them and being moved, and then it was gone, and then it returns in this awareness of the possibility of working together again. I do underline the scoring so much because then the beauty is harnessed.

ANNE: Shortcuts was a really frustrating process for me because it was so different for me. I felt like the first third to half was really great and everyone was really happy with all the exercises and explorations, and then we got to a point where we asked why we were doing it and not understanding. And then we started structuring and that seemed to frustrate everyone and that frustrated me. It was not a bad experience – it was a frustrating one, a confrontation and a way to work and I’m still trying to figure it out. What do you understand differently? I think if I had it all to do again, and I didn’t know going into it, if I were to restart this process now, I would try to be clearer with everyone everyday about what we were trying to achieve that day about how we’re going to progress, even though it’s not an obligation. I felt like some of the frustration came from not knowing what I was working towards, but I didn’t always know what we were working towards. I had a vague idea, but I wasn’t sure how we were going to get there, or when we were going to take the turn, so maybe I would try to plan that out, or maybe I would at least know to say ‘we’re going to hit a rough spot where exercises get boring and let me know, and another rough spot when I start trying to mold.’ As soon as I started setting parameters, it got really rocky. Everyone got frustrated because they felt like I was squashing them. I tried to say this especially towards the end – I’m not trying to squash the exploration, I’m just limiting it – you’re exploring in a smaller area and there’s not to explore in that area. Maybe I could have approached it more from that way. And maybe I could find a way to express to the actors what my own process is that I’m going through, when I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know. My cast was really good about expressing feelings to me. I’m not sure I have the perspective on it to really know. Next semester, I thought about where I would go – I think there’s a lot more to explore with Percy and Mary if it’s a way everyone else was interested. I think there’s a lot to explore with the idea of two of each of the characters – taking those to a much further extreme even. What is your version of Elizabeth and how do we make that the most extreme version of that thing that we can. Look at other characters? Lots of different ways.

KS: Your work is closer to Mary Zimmerman – very concrete aesthetic parameters – think pictures but do not limit the development of the process. An aesthetically defined world in which there is exploration. Is that the core of the confusion? Is that what Anne is trying to say? I saw that she was working aesthetically but not denying herself the possibility. Cassie: I think the big frustration was the fact that we were so free, but we are still inviting people to see this and yea, it did need some structure – every single piece had structure, the way we found those different structures was different. I wonder if during those first couple of months – if I had been making adjustments then, because I didn’t – if I had manipulated from the beginning would it have been a more natural transition? I don’t know that I could have communicated the aesthetic. The chairs eventually became the world of. What it’s like to bring people in their garb into the room and put them in the particular chair – that’s what you work with. Have – choose components, props, elements, and don’t change it or replace it – use that one and stick with something. Limitation, in this vast world of everything possible so therefore we have nothing, means it brings continuity. Next time an improv is conducted, there is something already invested in that prop. I actually do believe in concretizing work very early on. Even if sometimes you have to rethink. It’s a very simple rule that does make sense. Create a limitation, work with it, and then create another one. CW: I don’t think that starting with freedom was bad. We had that book and that’s how I discovered the book and that was right. I think what you just said about concretizing – was that some of them were so right, and maybe some of them should have changed in a separate way – after our speaker came in, I know Mary and Percy need to be in our work, but that didn’t work for me. I kept trying to intellectually understand and did and physically – but you’re having to try so many things, maybe you shouldn’t do it. I have so many questions about Mary and Percy in our world. I haven’t made a way to be that. We didn’t have the time for them to grow and be not an add-on. Not something that didn’t help to serve the piece. We keep talking about melding the two worlds of the technical and presentation. I could never find the scream to go in that. Really nice what Anne was saying. LG: when you were talking about us working together in the first two months of everything, it was pie – it was fun to go to Frankenstein, our process was different, we had pie the first half and a lot of the feelings were not mutual at the beginning – we just had different processes. But when it got to the point of structuring, it really helped to hear the idea of the defined edges and then tearing them down so that we could collaborate all together. It was a good way to know where you were coming from. I agree with Chelsea that the first couple of months were exactly what I needed, especially with Percy, I held onto that first half of the semester. If what I’m doing isn’t the most explored part, the first half of work was there. I was doing as much as I could with what I had with Percy and Mary. That’s why the first half was so important. AT: we had something that was really structured for the showing and then we could scratch all that and go back. CK: once we had the structures, we had more freedom to play inside of them. One of my big questions was the question of honesty – for the beginning, I was Sad Bastard and crying. And then the showing – it moved in a different direction so it was honest. When we finally got to the showings, there was a weird kind of freedom and I can do whatever I want. And I felt some of the most freedom when we were doing the showings. There’s nothing to stop me – this is my ensemble and this is what I’m doing. And yea we explored it but there were things we changed that we found the night of. You keep it or you throw it out. But it was learning. I will never regret any of this process. Regretting is not where we are – learning from what we’ve done – and what you do is necessary. And now what? Kyle and then Liz and Smyra – we can address the question which is – where are we in this business of replying to the text? Kyle: it sounds like what you guys went through was the opposite of BACCHAE. We started with Viewpoints and early improv and I need to be connected and the context of the story is missing and there were 17 rules and this is all going too far and everyone was lost and it was weird because it took me a long time to trust Candace because completely different styles and then we got on the same page and said I don’t feel this connection and we started working outside and then everything clicked and then I had faith in everyone in the cast and my director and everything started feeling more – we started gaining momentum. Not believing in something inspires negative work across the board and when you don’t believe you can’t do it. It really took a positive attitude and a clear mind. The majority of our work took place in three weeks. The mirror developed out of the 150-rule improv. And stuff from way before kept popping back in. Once the trust was established, we all started making awesome work. If we had more time. Everyone would be naked (Jackie).

[I talked. Of probably little use.]

Smyra and I had conversations every week and I wanted her to prepare some thoughts and I know of them and she prepared some thoughts and her points of view and concerns.
SMYRA: 12 points. I think the directors’ greatest successes were in their moments of resigning from control. I think it knows how I feel to watch your actors do amazing things, but the real challenge in this is redefining your role as a director – admired moments when you just supported the actors. To the actors: I think some of you took wonderful risks and did wonderful things, and some didn’t – sometimes just being scared. And sometimes you come out of rehearsal satisfied – that’s weak. Great job to be afraid and confused – I know a lot of people were really frustrated and didn’t feel safe in rehearsal and didn’t feel like they could speak up. I also didn’t speak up and it’s my biggest regret. Always have the courage to speak. In terms of the process – no matter how many times we said it was a rehearsal, it was a show. It had an opening and a closing. And I think the audience and everything – not the nature of the work. Ultimately detrimental. Soapbox on improv – I think the skills of comedy improv directly translate to this work. Being in the moment, accepting offers, awareness of others. If you want to pursue this work, look into Truth in Comedy, etc. That’s it and I think you all did a lot of beautiful work that you should be proud of. JVP: I agree with the improv thing. You gave me the face! I think the improv class you offered when I wasn’t here should be a prereq and the directors should be involved as well. It’s so necessary to this type of work. Something I struggle with and something a lot of people struggle with. It would make this process – still frustrating as shit, but work could get done faster, and not so much divide, etc. because you won’t need to ask those questions. The realities are impossible. In the ideal world, that would be great. The comedy part is where I object. Nick: it’s kind of a tricky tightrope of starting off immediately with improv was not where we are with building, and lots of stuff we learned from improv, really delicate balance – one thing I loved was that we took the themes that was an alphabet of the way we worked. DF: yes, they were shows, and I agree unfortunately. I also don’t mind the production being involved. What I think would actually really help – if we could be warming up while the audience is there, and not have it be like an ooh! You’re not supposed to see this. So if we needed to do that – it might put out the feeling of a sharing rather than a showing. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a showing. I think it’s okay to work towards a performance. I think it’s good to share it when it’s roughly finished and show it to people as a show and then go from there. It’s not the death of whatever. I think it’s the idea of the goal of the showing – it felt like rehearsal. I understood it to be different. COC: rehearsal with lights and costumes and things – I think when I speak of the production, I don’t speak of designers – I’m talking about the formality with which the audience enters. Maybe it’s seeing the audience enter. The way that it was managed was the problem. Way it was done with reports, etc. Really business-like – good business done well – it actually killed a lot of spirit of discovery. It’s really true. Because the school wants. It puts a tremendous amount of pressure to think of said product. That being said, with costumes and lights is that they’re also artists. Do whatever you want – and it changed every night. Interesting way to incorporate another artist and a different expression. How to do it. Great to invite other people. We are doing it too much now. CH: I think as this class involves, we need to constantly focus on the work. The work is evolving and elements that keep the work from evolving are not helpful. House manager yelling at people to leave is not helpful. We all know how hard it was to fit in that scheme of things. If you want to stay and speak, I can stay and speak – we still have things and such. We will have conversations to follow individually and maybe as a group – I will invite you all to party at my place. Maybe the end of the week. Thank you for doing this work and for bringing the food and for graduates – visit the world, fly far.